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Thursday, March 26, 2009


(Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction & a figment of Arbitmind's imagination)

Hello there!!!
Welcome to the fifth edition of the the Show-Must-Go-On League.(SMGOL)
We have a huge match here today!!

The "Right Nighters" coached by the legendary Mr.Boka-hon versus the "Conventional Royals" coached by one in particular.
We are bringing it to you live.
The stadium is jam packed. We have a game on here.

Its toss time,Coach Boka is walking up to the gallery. The crowds roar. He is an immensely popular man out here.
It is a novel idea..a stroke of genius..the Toss captain would be selected from the supporters of Right Nighters.
This is in line with his philosophy of having multiple captains & bringing about equality among the masses.
..& as Boka had said earlier,"We need to pick the luckiest man for the toss. The toss is very vital in cricket.
Logically, somebody who draws the lucky number among a crowd of 30,00 is definitely a lucky man...& very rightly he will be our man for the toss on that particular day."

Lets see who gets the honours today. Lots are being drawn out here...& we have our winner..the friendly neighbourhood dada...Poltu-da. 
Poltu-da has drawn the lucky number. He is waving towards the dressing room. The dressing room stands up
& waves back at their leader..for the moment that is. 

I can see the players are jotting down his name in a notepad..
..or in wordpad..may be even be a Scintilla editor. If someone amongst them turns out to be the man-of-the match today, he has to thank Poltu-da for the toss in the post match conference.

The coin is tossed up...Poltu-da calls 'Heads' & it is 'Heads' indeed. The giant screen is showing a close up of Boka.
The man is a genius....his method has ensured that no chances are taken with the toss. Surely Boka has worked out the Binomial & Poisson distributions for this.What an unprecedented genius!!!!

The "Conventional Royals" skipper shakes his head in dejection. 
Its Poltu-da's decision now...he wants to bat or he wants to field.
There you are...Poltu-da has decided to field first. Lets see what he has to say to our man in the middle.
(Camera onto the pitch):

Anchor: "So poltu-da , why did you opt to field first? You presume the wicket to assist the seamers in the first half?"

Poltu-da: "Well, first of all I would like to thank my local club, my friends & family. Without their support
I would not have achieved this. Also through this platform I would like to invite everyone to our yearly cultural wife is singing "Aloker ei jhornadhara" this time & my son is taking part in...."

Anchor: "Err..Poltu-da..has decided to field first..the Nighters are coming onto the field. 
The Conventional Royals' batsmen are here already. Back to the commentary box."

Thank you mate. 

The Nighters are on the field. Their field is being set. The off-side captain & the leg-side captain are 
placing their fielders on the respective sides. The wicketkeeper is captaining the slip fielder.
Here comes the first delivery......

Ohh!! Wait..we have crowd trouble here....a huge fracas is going on in the stands. The match is on hold.
Let us go to our man who is in there.

What is the issue ?
Anchor: "Well, apparently here we have a Tarini Jethu..a man who many claim was thrown into the sea by his fellow shipmates , some 10 years ago. However, legend has it that Tarini Jethu managed to come ashore with a fish in his mouth. He was conferred the  "Siddhu, Luckiest Man" award, an award named after the man who coined the phrase, "throw a lucky man into the sea  & he will come out with a fish in his mouth". People out here are protesting that it is grossly unfair that Tarini-jethu was not given the chance to be the captain. He is the original lucky man they say. Back to the commentary box "

Well..there you are..we have more trouble. Supporters of Tarini Jethu are moving towards the pitch. The players have retreated. The latest news is that a " Justice For Tarini Jethu" committee has ben formed & we are having a mid pitch elections for the post of the General Secretary of the committee. The committee plans to do sit-in demonstrations & gherao coach Boka for his alleged acts of favoritism towards Poltu-da.

We are signing off for the day...the match has been postponed. 

This is Arbitmind for SMGOL Telecasters International.
Have a good day !! 


Anonymous said...

This is your best post... :)

Anonymous said...

Gamchha Tash aar Jhall Muri missing....
Koik din pore Ooi mathe Boi mela hobe....

See I am Bhodro Lok and I am not satisfied even on my own Criticism...

Anonymous said...

I think you are in the wrong place...
Good one...

Anonymous said...

I support Tarini budo whole heartedly.. this is naainsaafi ~ Shovan

Anonymous said...

John Boka-None er kirti kolap aaro chai ~ Shadhu

Yatish said...


Fish legend is awesome.. But Siddhu also reminds me of Chaandni Chowk to China.. Wo bhi legend hai.. DADO HOJO

Anonymous said...

Tambi, writer ban ja .. faltu test cases likh ke time barbad kar raha hai

arbitmind said...

Yatish, For God's sake..please do not mention this. I watched that at E-Square..250 bucks a piece :-(
Dado Hojo :-D
Shadhu, Boka-Non er kirtikolap agami mashei dekha jabe.
Tambi, kaash...:-D

Rofl Indian said...

Hahaha. This is insanely funny,

sammythewizzy said...

Wow.. that was awesome and extremely hilarious... I came here from bestblogsindex, and was expecting a good satirical post on the IPL, but your post just blew me off.. Great job.. Keep Blogging.. :)

arbitmind said...

Thanks Sammy...:-)

True Indian said...

Everywhere u will find cricket mania but now some people had started discussing its business part...(Follow the link in the name)
The gentleman's game is no more a Gentleman's Game..
Try to know the inside of IPL....
if like this do not forget to digg...